In This Body, In This Lifetime - Awakening Stories of Japanese Soto Zen Women - Edited by Esho Sudan, Translated by Kogen Czarnik
First published in 1956 before being translated for the first time in 2025, this is a collection of thirty first person accounts of Kensho (awakening) from nuns and laywomen who trained under Sozen Nagasawa Roshi at Kannonji temple in Tokyo.
This was a turbulent time in Japan - it was in the aftermath of World War 2 , and some of them had suffered terrible losses. It was a time of post war austerity, turmoil and food shortages, so these spiritual awakenings took place against a background of suffering and daily struggle. It’s not just this fact that makes them remarkable, but also that we are hearing from these women in their own words.
Spiritual Awakening
I’ve written about books about spiritual awakening before, so when I heard this was available I was eager to read it. Looking at my list I realise there are no female voices, so I thought it was high time to rectify that. What’s interesting about this book is that we aren’t hearing these stories second hand - these are personal accounts, told in their own voices.
These thirty chapters are short, but they are startling. They are very much rooted in the time - you get a real sense of the struggle involved, the suffering and the many hours of practice put in. The kyosaku makes plenty of appearances, a wooden stick used to help practitioners stay focused, alert, and to relieve physical stiffness. Not so much used for punishment, but to keep you from falling asleep or slouching. Something I could probably do with myself as I nod off during my morning sits.
What they all have in common is their longing to experience kensho - the first awakening. They burn with desire and dedication, determined to end their suffering once and for all.
Sozen Nagasawa Roshi
Sozen Nagasawa Roshi herself is a central figure in this book. Born in 1888, she became a pioneer among women in Japanese monastic Zen. She was one of the very few independent female Zen teachers in her era, and she worked for institutional change — for example, pushing for women’s Dharma transmission and forming support systems for nuns and lay female practitioners.
In the book she comes across as both compassionate and fierce, and her commitment to her students is unwavering. From some of their accounts, you can tell that she just commands presence, and she patiently guides generations of nuns and laywomen to an awakening. She encouraged the women to write down their experiences, which forms the basis of the book.
Personal Accounts
What I liked most about these personal accounts was how much they were rooted in the real - the awakening arises in real suffering. Momoyo Nakayama in the chapter ‘Remembering My Child’ writes,
“I lost in the war my beloved only son, … I cannot express the grief and anguish I felt … Only other mothers who have experienced this can know the feeling.”
She goes on describing her life in grief, how she held a small wooden box with her son’s remains, and how the pain crushed her world: “From a world of light, I was thrown into a world of darkness...I lost all desire to live.”
She meets Roshi, and is drawn to her ‘untouchable intensity’ and starts to attend short sesshins then one retreat after another. She talks about the pain of sitting for hours, and the anger she feels when she’s hit by the kyosaku - she’s never been hit by anyone in her life.
Through this pain and exhaustion she relies on Roshi for guidance, and continues to push through and practice. Eventually, she reaches buddha mind and:
“heaven and earth are one; myself and the universe are one body. Buddha is what I am; there is only unity….here living and working together with my dead son is a joy that cannot be expressed in words.”
There are many accounts like this, as these inspiring women try to end their suffering once and for all.
Summary
Obviously if you’re a frequent reader of this blog you’ll know that I have an interest in spirituality, especially buddhism. This book appealed to me because it’s not about some lofty mysticism, achieving enlightenment whilst sitting cross legged listening to a teacher on the side of a mountain. This is hard won awakening, from people living ordinary lives, often painful.
Within these personal stories there is insight to be found, and I often found myself moved by these accounts. And theres’s something inspiring about women carving out their own path in what is often a male dominated tradition.
(A word of praise to the editor Esho Sudan, and Kogen Czarnik who translated ‘In the body, in this lifetime’ - the book feels intimate and accessible, and I felt that the womens voices had been preserved with care - there’s a lovely rhythm to their accounts and they always felt authentic and honest).
I think this is a book that will be of interest to anyone on the path, especially to those who want to read more about real life zen awakening experiences and women in Buddhism.
232 pages, Paperback
Published June 17, 2025
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